Hello Aberzombie, I notice in advertisements that when wearing abercrombie apparel one is compelled to huddle with others wearing abercrombie clothes, and this brings about a seemingly almost uncontrolled happy euphoria, with a display of smiling and shared affection. Being a loner by nature I have trouble fitting into the "IN" crowd, Last summer I experimented with cigarettes after much consideration and study of cigarette ads and their portrayal of the positive effect it seems to have on one's social position. I found the ads to be inaccurate and the cigarettes only lead to health problems. Will aberzombie apparel give me what I need to fit in, and be accepted in the euphoric huddled masses? or only lead to health problems?

Actually, in our personal experience, wearing Aberzombie apparel doesn't appear to cause any direct health problems, but there is the extreme likelihood of a pesky rash of lawsuits occurring. Not to worry though, this rash has thus far stricken only the proprietorship of Aberzombie, and not any customers, or casual web surfers. And to our knowledge no viruses have occurred because of internet contact with said proprietorship. Rest easy my friend. Aberzombie = A Healthy Lifestyle. Aberzombie is desirable and causes undeniable pleasure, but is non-habit forming. The Surgeon General has determined that Aberzombie does NOT cause lung cancer.

Hello! I am currently the proud owner of an orange crushed Aberzombie t-shirt. In addition, it should be noted that while in attendance at the Anger Management Tour in Minnesota several years ago, I threw an orange crushed Aberzombie tee up on stage...where Eminem proceeded to wipe the sweat off of his forehead with it! It simply doesn't get any better than that, my friends. God Bless the folks at Aberzombie!!! Long live Aberzombie!!!

Speechless. Simply speechless.

What the heck r u people thinking? Abercrombie and Fitch is the best store! And Aberzombie is the worst store eva!! I mean u guyz r just jealous of Abercrombie and Fitch!! So shut your traps and make fun of another gay store!!

Well now Emily, I don't see how sexual preference plays any part in this. We have never accused any retail clothing chain of being gay, nor have we any way of determining the sexual orientation of a retail clothing chain. Further, if we did have this ability it would never occur to us to criticize such a store for its sexual preference. At Aberzombie.com we have a sort of "Don't ask, don't tell" policy. Shame on you Emily. What's next, derogatory slurs against Chinese folks?

You people are f*cking pathetic, you have no lives, all you can do is make fun of people so much better than you because people who make fun of Abercrombie and Fitch ARE TRAILER PARK TRASH. THANK YOU.

Very eloquently put Dave. Have you thought about anger management courses? I'm pretty sure your prescription meds aren't doing the job. So, let me get this straight: People who wear A&F clothes are morally superior to those who don't? I couldn't agree more. I remember way back in junior high when my mom bought me a new pair of Nikes. My neighbor only had an old junky pair of Converse All Stars. As a result, that year I was nominated for both a Nobel Peace Prize and a Pulitzer. The brands we wear make us who we are - and you, Dave, are a winner. You are indeed "so much better." Congratulations!

I live in London and I am a teacher. I also dress and look like the cybergoth I am. All these kids in uniforms freak me out. My colleagues look like city bankers and Laura Ashley models. They can all **** off, can't they?

Why, as a matter of fact, they certainly can! Although that's a choice that is theirs to make. After all, personal choice is what we here at Aberzombie are all about.

The choice to listen to the music we want to listen to: from the Monkeys to the Super Furry Animals; from Great White to The White Stripes; from The Stooges to The Prodigy. Do what ya' like.

The choice to eat what we want to eat: from tuna fish to blow fish; from soy to poi; from nuts and berries to a 32 ounce slab of rare prime rib. Eat what ya' like.

The choice to wear what we want to wear: from an overpriced, overrated, overcommercialized, logo emblazoned just-for-the-sake-of-wearing-a-shirt-with-
their-logo-on-it tee shirt to an "original" Aberzombie tee. Wear what ya' like. (Not what everybody else likes.)

Yes, my friend from across the pond. They can indeed **** off. Continue with your unique, cybergoth ways. Be yourself. Somebody has bloody well got to.

OK, let me get it straight; you have a wonderful PRODUCT that you will use to help combat consumer culture. I like it. I'm pleased. I'm even thinking about CONSUMING one. But you need to work just a little harder for this one particular sale... tell me more.

Glad you asked. First, Aberzombie tees make you look slimmer, fitter and sexier. You will feel younger, happier and more self-confident. You will be more attractive to persons of either the male or female persuasion, depending on your personal preference. Each shirt was scientifically designed to compliment your eyes. Our tees are made from not 98%, not 99%, but 100% cotton! Where else are you going to find that? In addition, the unique knit of our fabric actually improves circulation. Yes, Aberzombie tees are recommended by 3 out of 4 vascular specialists who wear Aberzombie tees. Anyone can get a double take while walking down the street. But how about triple and quadruple takes? Well get used to it sister because you're going to receive more attention than a Howler Monkey driving a tractor backwards down main street on Easter Sunday. We at Aberzombie.com look forward to receiving your multiple shirt orders. Please enjoy wearing your many shirts (available in Grey Matter, Orange Crushed and Really Old Navy) each day of the week.

My girlfriend says that I should work on my 6-pack so that I can be more hot. What do you think?

Drop dead.

My mom says it's stupid to pay full price for a used, worn out baseball cap, but I think they're cool. Aren't they?

Your mom doesn't know anything. She's obviously just old. Buy that cap, mister. With smart purchases like that you'll be on the road to early retirement in no time.

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